06 November 2012

Elections Are Fun, But I'd Rather Go Apple Picking


The title of this posting says it all, really. If you haven't already, get in line right now and cast your vote for the 2012 presidential elections. If you've already done so, congratulations you've made the right choice now have a shot or seven with me at the bar - that is if you voted for Obama, if you didn't get the fuck out right now. No, seriously. Get out. Elections can be a fairly stressful time so as the minutes pass to hours and the time waiting for results turns to anxiety I like to remember the simpler times of yesterweek when I was in upstate New York picking apples, zip-lining down mountains, and getting absurdly drunk with my dearest friends in the hot tub. Join me, won't you? The water's great.

Casa de Chip

While I love New York City I find it necessary to escape from the concrete jungle every once in awhile. I was more than ecstatic when my friend Chip invited a few of us to his house upstate for the weekend for some much needed R&R and merriment. Autumn here in New York is a gorgeous time unlike any other I've experienced in California or Texas. The trees slowly change color the further away from Manhattan you drive and the view is spectacular. It chokes me up, really, and I don't even have allergies.


We made our way to an orchard where we searched for fresh apples and other fruit to pick, which is ironic if you think about it - a bunch of fruit frolicking about picking fruit. Anyway, we had to search deep into the orchard because apparently everyone else had thought to come earlier in the season to destroy our fun and steal our apples. I took the liberty of hopping on Jason's back every once in awhile because walking is overrated and tossed my pickings into my friend's bag because what else are friends for if not to carry your wait literally and figuratively? ♪ We're the three best friends that anyone could have... ♫


We woke up early the next day, which was painful thanks to the hangover from all the liquor had on the previous night, to drive up to Hunter Mountain to conquer North America's fastest, longest, and highest zipline canopy course. I was unable to appreciate the majesty of the drive thanks to the winding roads, my near empty stomach, and killer headache, but was luckily able to look over pictures my friends took on the drive up. You have no idea how happy I was to be on solid, stable ground once we got out of the car. All that was about to change with the first run, though. Yeesh!

"Sir, do you know how this harness works?" Oh, honey, you have no idea!

Once we were all strapped up and ready to go we drove up the mountain with our group and were given a short tutorial on do's, don'ts, and techniques for how to go faster, slow down, and generally enjoy the ride. I'm a huge adrenaline junkie so this was no big deal for me, but I have to admit white-knuckling the handlebar of my zipline on my first go. Speeding down a mountain was exhilarating and each course allowed us to try different maneuvers and have a little fun. I mean, sure I had to get rescued and reeled in to the finish line a few times because my tiny little body couldn't make it through an entire course, but it was still great fun!

obligatory tiny man on giant chair picture

All good things had to come to an end but I did learn a few things from my weekend trip upstate. Lesson 1) wear more layers when ziplining in the fall or your ass will freeze. Lesson 2) learn to pack lightly, it's an extended overnight there's no reason to bring four outfit changes per day. Lesson 3) everything is SO much cheaper upstate so buy toiletries at the giant Walmart while there, and last but certainly not least Lesson 4) Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

1 comment:

  1. I <3 being unplugged from technology. Sounds like you had a nice adventure. After this campaign season, which I feel lucky to have survived since it was 2 years long, I'm taking a 4 year retirement from politics.

    I voted for the Libertarian guy for president.

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